she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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