I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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