it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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