he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
