i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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