hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
