why didn't you poke me back
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
