did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
