I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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