Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
