Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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