This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
