problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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