I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
