Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
even my farts smell like vagina
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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