ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
