I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
