Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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