so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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