I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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