booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
