He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
