gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
