not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
