just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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