That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
