she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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