Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i believe in u and ur pee
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
