I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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