what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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