I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
