I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize