My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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