its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
