It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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