whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
