the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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