wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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