Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
