After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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