my vag is so smooth its legendary
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
