I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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