my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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