I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
