What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
