i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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