I faked an abortion last night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just forgot I was standing up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
