Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
