Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize