He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
