Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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