i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my liver is dry heaving
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
