Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
