Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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