roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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