'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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