You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
