I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize