oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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